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Life Through the Eyes of Death
Today I want to share a story about life. Told through the lens of death.
My dear friend Niel passed away the other day. He was young. It was sudden and unexpected.
He’s survived by his incredible wife and 11 year old daughter.
He was my brother.
Best friend to my husband.
We raised kids together.
Built businesses together.
I figured we’d all be growing old together, wrinkled and laughing, remembering the times when we hustled in our businesses while raising our kids and trying to make every moment count. Always running and building, hugging and loving.
We would laugh at all the mistakes we made, shaking our old heads with just a tinge of regret for all the ways we stressed about money, family tiffs, or roadblocks. We would know that none of that really mattered. We would know that everything has a way of working out in our favor. We would know that none of that shit was worth holding.
We would share stories about our grandbabies in between rounds of Shiesty Monopoly and talk about new projects and dreams as we laughed. Noemi and I would roll our eyes while the boys razzed each other for hours, and we’d reminisce about all the memories we collected.
Funny how our minds automatically assume these futures with those we love.
The pain we feel when we lose a loved one is a blend of the loss of the moments we had with them, and the loss of the moments we thought we were going to have with them. We simultaneously mourn the past and the future.
“We have so many memories to be grateful for,” Noemi said to her daughter in a courageous attempt to help her understand that daddy’s not here anymore.
“But I want more memories with him, mom!” her daughter replied through tears.
Our stomachs sink in unison…so do we, mi’ja. So do we.
The Light In the Dark
While we all go through our own grieving process, I find myself reaching for hope, for light, for ah-ha’s that will soothe the pain and make it all make sense somehow.
Once the tears had stopped after hearing the news, I became acutely aware of the clarity I felt.
Just hours before, I had been completely overwhelmed by the millions of responsibilities and worries that I was carrying. The logistics and emotions of managing life. It felt like a mountain was on my shoulders.
But instantly…everything became clear, and my shoulders were unburdened.
A line was drawn down the middle of my life and everything was sorted into “important” or “not important.”
There were no questions. No grey areas. No hovering.
The unsettling business situation I was navigating? Not important.
The constant worry about cash flow? Not important.
The growing stack of work tasks? Not important.
Making a chicken coop with my daughters? Important.
Pouring love into my husband? Important.
Reaching out to my friend every day as she navigates her new life? Important.
When death looks us in the eyes and reminds us that we will all eventually hold its hand, life becomes clear.
If death were to look you in the eyes today, what clarity would you have? How would the things in your life sort out?
Being With What Is
We are far from any resemblance of a new norm, I know.
My friend Niel touched thousands of people’s lives…and we’re all processing our grief in our own ways. Some of us are still in shock. Some of us are drowning in sadness. Some of us are clinging onto the silver lining because that’s how we can cope. And it’s all okay.
It’s a beautiful reminder to honor all of it. And to sit with it with openness and patience.
What’s unsettled in your life that you can simply sit with?
Sort through?
Learn from?
We all have the choice in hard times to either BE with what is, or avoid what is.
Which will you choose today?
A Newfound Fire
I believe that death is our soul’s transition from the human experience.
“When we die,” I tell my daughters, “it just means our human body dies. Our souls live on forever, so we’ll always be connected.”
We’re in this human body for a relatively short period of time…so why not make the most of it?
Whether you believe in “one life” or not…this still gets the point across.
Today, I’m choosing to take death’s stare and use the clarity it’s given me to move through my life with a little more fire. A little more intention. A little more courage to be fully me and proactively create my life with every breath.
More love. Less stress.
More hugs. Less ego.
More I love you’s. Less judgments.
And a fullness knowing that we are all connected. In life, and in death.
I love you,
????Katie
I love you, Niel. ????
???? I love you.
Namaste, Beautiful…????
Katie Krimitsos
Creator of the Women’s Meditation Network
katie@womensmeditationnetwork.com
