Listen to this episode Here! ????
I saw a clip going around on social media awhile back of Reese Witherspoon’s Woman of the Year speech.
She describes a moment that was happening in a lot of movies. A moment when the story takes an immediate and unknown turn, and the woman looks at the man in panic and exclaims, “What do we do now?”
Reese looks at the audience and asks with sincere disbelief, “Do you know any woman in any crisis situation who has absolutely no idea what to do? It’s ridiculous that a woman would have no idea what to do!”
We are resourceful. We figure shit out. We find a way.
Every single woman I know.
We do our best to teach this to our kids.
We do our best to continue practicing it for ourselves.
And yet, there are these moments…
But what about those moments that aren’t necessarily a crisis?
Moments that leave us staring head on with a big decision we have to make.
Moments that are the result of hours, days, months, maybe even years of feeling “off” about something in our lives. Unaligned.
That feeling of incongruency leads us here. To this moment. When we can no longer ignore that a big decision needs to be made.
Or perhaps we’ve arrived here because of a pulling. A desire manifesting itself in front of us in a way that we can recognize, but may not be sure of.
What about these moments?
We are certainly not the helpless women Reese describes in Hollywood scripts throughout history.
But maybe we’re not immediately the super confident, I-know-exactly-what-to-do-right-now woman we want to be.
Maybe we’re a little scared.
A little doubtful.
A little unclear.
So, how do we become our best, most confident selves in these Big Decision Moments?
A Big Pivot
“You’re so brave, Katie!” a podcast host said to me as I was sharing my story of how the Women’s Meditation Network started.
It took me a little off guard. I hadn’t thought about this origin story and everything that helped to create it making me brave. I just saw it as a natural next step.
Cliff Notes Version of the How the Women’s Meditation Network Came to Be
I’ve been podcasting since 2012, launching myself into stardom with a business podcast called Biz Women Rock. That podcast blossomed into a business that enabled me to strategically coach women entrepreneurs and provide masterminds, workshops, retreats and more to help them grow their businesses.
I loved it. Loved it!
Fast forward to April of 2018. Business was growing like crazy, my plans to triple my company’s reach and revenue were humming along beautifully. I was loving life. I was loving my business. I was feeling good.
Until I found out we were pregnant with my second daughter.
All of a sudden, literally out of the blue, I heard a very clear voice telling me that I was done with my business.
No rhyme or reason. No burnout. No new dream pulling me away.
Just. Done.
So I paused.
I didn’t know what I needed to do. But, I knew enough to know that I needed some time and space to figure it out.
So, I pressed pause on everything I was about to launch, maintained the commitments I already had, and thrust myself into the gray storm of uncertainty.
It was uncomfortable as hell.
During this time, I went on long walks with my husband every day. He gave me the space to question, deconstruct, and think and feel out loud so I could process what was going on.
One day, after all my words had poured out onto his patient ear, he asked me a simple question that would forever change the direction of our lives.
“What about that meditation idea?”
You see, months before, I had had an idea for a meditation podcast for women. I knew enough to know that the space was utterly empty (a sad fact that in 2018, there was only one podcast that existed when I typed in “women” and “meditation” into the podcast players). But I tossed the idea aside because it really didn’t fit with my business at the time.
But now here we were thinking about all the possibilities within that question.
“What about that meditation idea?”
Within weeks I had my first podcast launched, Meditation for Women, and over the next year and a half, focused my energy on that while I slowed my other business to a stop.
And the rest is history.
My very first version of the Meditation for Women podcast art! I was soooo nervous!
Be Willing to Sit in the Gray
If you find yourself in one of these moments, knowing a big decision needs to be made, but not knowing immediately what to do, then just…
Take a pause.
It can be uncomfortable. It can be painful. It can feel like you’re being turned inside out and upside down.
But, if you’re willing to sit in the gray, willing to look inside yourself, willing to listen to the wisdom that’s waiting for you, you’ll find the answers. Every single time.
Build Your Muscles
Knowing the answer to your big decision is just the first step. Now, you must be brave enough to take action in that direction.
This never gets easy. But, it does become easier the more you practice it. The more you use the muscles that can start ugly, take baby steps, make mistakes and pivot again and again.
I’ve been practicing making “big girl” decisions since I was young…
Raised in a family of 6 kids necessitated a level of independence that my parents made sure to instill in us.
So, by the time I was an 18 year old adult in my first year of college, I wasn’t completely lost when I didn’t make the final cuts for the university softball team.
I didn’t plan on playing college softball. Instead, I focused all my energy on winning mountains of academic scholarships so my parents wouldn’t have to pay a penny for my education.
So there I was, just a few months into my freshman year, sitting in my dorm and attending classes that were bought and paid for for the next 4 years. I had just come home from softball try outs for Arizona State University, which ended in a disappointing realization that my name was not on the final list of players.
It didn’t feel good. My stomach churned with discomfort. My head was in a fog of questioning.
I sat in my room for the afternoon until the truth that was covered in all these feelings was revealed.
I really still wanted to play softball.
All the evidence in front of me told me that I could not have what I wanted.
But instead, my inner voice whispered one word…
How?
Twenty four hours later, I had gathered all the information I needed to answer this question. I could try out for the local community college team. I could stay on the University’s campus and keep the cute little college life I was building by maintaining just one class here.
But there was one big hiccup.
In order to keep my scholarships, I had to remain a full time student at the University. An impossible task, as I had to be a full time student at the community college in order to play.
I called my mom.
“So I can either play softball and lose all my scholarships,” I explained to her, “or I can keep my scholarships and not play.”
I was looking for the answer as I was itemizing out the pros and cons.
She didn’t give me one. Instead, she simply said, “Katie, do what feels right for you. I know it’ll all work out.”
(can I get an amen for some kickass parenting right there?)
And that’s how, at 18 years old, I made the big decision to follow my heart to play the sport I loved, letting go of about $60k in scholarships along the way.
My decision-making muscle grew a lot.
Making Big Decisions Becomes Easy
And that’s why making the decision and taking action toward that direction for the Women’s Meditation Network decades later didn’t seem so “hard” or “brave.”
- Why making the big decision to change my daughter’s school in the middle of the semester a few days ago didn’t seem so scary.
- Why making the big decision to hire my sister as my full time employee a few years ago felt really good.
Practicing making big decisions, based on the inner voice of truth we hear, is how we get better and better at guiding our lives and creating ones we love.
What If It’s Not the “Right” Decision?
Just because you listened to your intuition and took action does not mean everything is sunshine and rainbows and perfect on the other side.
There have been plenty of times when a big decision I made turned out to be “wrong.” Or, a few steps in, I realized that, actually, I wanted something different.
In these moments, I choose to believe that, as long as I made that big decision from the wisdom in my gut, I was meant to make it. I was meant to be propelled in this direction and on this path. Because doing so would lead me to another part of the path that I would not have otherwise encountered. And so on, and so on.
And…I also believe that I can make a new decision at any time.
The beauty of this realization is that I never feel stuck with the decisions I make. And I never see a big decision holding the weight of “forever.” It softens the edges as I realize that nothing is permanent.
It gives me so much more confidence to make big decisions.
Remember that big decision to play softball for the community college? It was driven by a dream I had to play professionally back then. Which meant that I saw my steps going from the community college, to a Division I team, to a professional team. I played my little heart out for two years at the community college, even began submitting my applications to Division I schools at the end of my Sophomore year. But over time, something didn’t feel right anymore.
And when I took the time to pause and reflect, I realized a new truth:
I was done playing softball.
So, once again, I used that decision-making muscle to lead me to the next phase of my life. Which was going back full time to the University, working on and off campus, and completing my degree feeling confident that I had created the best college experience I could have possibly had.
My family threw me a surprise party after my college graduation just before I headed out to Florida.
So, How Do You Make Big Decisions?
What’s a big decision you have in front of you right now?
What is your intuition whispering to you?
How could you take a step in that direction?
If you need some help finding clarity and confidence during this gray season, I have a meditation called The Journey Within that I hope will help!
Listen to this episode Here! ????
And here’s a recap for you:
- Take the time to pause
- Listen for the answers within you
- Take actions towards that answer
- Adjust and pivot.
- Repeat
Namaste, Beautiful…????
Katie Krimitsos
Creator of the Women’s Meditation Network
katie@womensmeditationnetwork.com
