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5 Hacks for Moments of Overwhelm
Google defines “overwhelm” as a verb that means to “bury or drown beneath a huge mass.” And that’s about how I feel right now. Drowning in a sea of responsibilities, pushed beneath the waters by the weight of tasks, logistics, schedules and goals. Perhaps you’ve felt this way too recently? My mornings are early and my evenings are late. Sleep has not been my friend this week. Hubs is out of town and his duties become my duties. Lots of animals need to be cared for (follow along my Instagram stories to see all of them ????). Kids are back at school and the routine is both refreshing and tiring. My body is still adjusting. My hopes of tackling so many business goals that were sidelined during the summer have now found themselves slowly trudging through mud. Frustration builds. Exhaustion spreads. Little pebbles of tasks pile upon my shoulders until I feel like Atlas. And in one hot moment…the bomb of overwhelm explodes.
What does overwhelm feel like in your body?
In mine, it feels like that bomb has gone off and each of the pieces it breaks into is a little voice telling me what has to be done or who needs something from me, all amidst the backdrop of a ticking clock and a deeply rooted fear of letting all of the pieces fall. My vision narrows and my breathing becomes short, and all of a sudden, I have to escape or I’m going to drown. When we were kids and felt overwhelmed, we would scream or cry and possibly run far far away from the spot where overwhelm took us over. We’d walk barefoot outside, play with our pets, throw rocks into the creek, or escape to the hiding place in our room and draw in our notebook. We’d get lost in whatever we were doing for a while and return a bit later, our nervous system regulated, with only a trace of a memory of what had caused us to take flight in the first place. We were so wise. As adults, we internalize it. We swallow it down and think there’s something wrong with us if we scream too loud or blow up in the heat of the moment. But there’s not. We just need the tools to get us off of the ledge and back down to earth, rooted in our peace. I will never claim that I do this perfectly…just ask my kids during bedtime when mommy gets “crankypants.” But…I’ve tried a lot of ways to calm myself during intense moments over the years and here is what I’ve found works best for me. Perhaps you can try some of these on and see if they work for you. If they do, or you would like to share helpful tips you love, I’d love to hear from you!
1. Remove Yourself From the Place of Overwhelm
My house is LOUD. Parrots are chirping, my husband is talking on the phone, kids are playing, TV is blaring, the rooster is crowing, cicadas are buzzing, or music is playing at all times. It is rare for there to be silence. Which means that my explosions of overwhelm are typically happening at my home. ???? When they do, I leave. I get in my truck and drive. Either to a nature preserve or a coffee shop close by, depending on what I feel like I need in that moment. Removing myself from the scene allows me to physically recalibrate so I can take an inventory of myself and see what I need. You may intuitively know that leaving the scene is what you need too, if you find yourself daydreaming about an “escape to the beach” that will fix everything. ????????♀️
(Coffee shops and nature preserves are my go-to escapes when I feel overwhelmed.)
2. Take 5 Deep Breaths
When we’re stressed and overwhelmed, our breath becomes short. Which means, our body is not getting the oxygen it needs to function properly. When we take a series of deep breaths, we invite in more oxygen, which helps activate our body’s relaxation response, calming the nervous system. Pretty soon, those pieces of explosives that are floating around us fall to the ground. Last night, I literally yelled at the top of my lungs in the middle of the kitchen. I was beyond frustrated. I was trying to feed our baby birds and the syringes kept breaking as I was preparing the food. Yup…you read that correctly…I had a complete toddler meltdown. “I’m so frustrated!!!!!!!!!” came roaring from my mouth as my girls just watched their mom crack. When I finished, I looked at them both and said out loud to myself, “calm down, Mommy. Just take some deep breaths.” I did. They watched. I became noticeably more relaxed within seconds. And as they observed this process in me, they took deep breaths too. And when it was all said and done, they both came over and hugged me. “I’m glad you got that out, mom. I know what it feels like to be that frustrated,” my oldest said.
(I take deep breaths in the car a LOT.)
3. Ask the Most Important Question
What do I need right now? What do I need right now? What do I need right now? This is the most important question to ask…especially in moments of overwhelm. So ask and then listen. And then love yourself by giving yourself exactly what you need. A nap? An hour to stare out the window? A call with a soul sister? A nourishing meal? A cathartic cry? A space to draw or write? A long, sweaty run? This morning, I called one of my soul sisters and shed a few tears as I was relaying how I felt. Then I opened my laptop and started writing. An hour later, I felt so much better.
(Sometimes, I just needed to snuggle with my bird.)
4. Put It All In Perspective
Overwhelm often comes because we are putting so much importance on so many things at once. Once I’ve calmed myself down, I metaphorically re-organize my puzzle pieces with a lot of grace and clarity about what the most important things are. By doing so, the little pebbles of responsibilities kinda dissolve. Atlas stands up as the world shrinks from his shoulders, and transforms into just a few things he holds in the palm of his hand. Everything else fades. What becomes most important? Taking care of you. Spending time with the people you love. Rest. Feeling rooted in yourself. Everything else can wait.
(My little family on the beach.)
5. Find Things to Be Grateful For
The goal is not only to calm down, but to tap into the peace that’s already inside of us. And one of the fastest ways to do this is to focus your attention onto things for which you are grateful. Your friends. Your kids. Your spouse. Your work. Your body. Something. Anything. Focus in on just one or two and you’ll notice a cool softness begin to course through your body. You’ll feel a bit lighter. You’ll realize that life doesn’t have to be taken so seriously (my life-long lesson). You can let it be okay that you were overwhelmed and learn something from it, rather than chastise yourself for it. You can reconnect with you.
(In the middle of an overwhelming day, my youngest fell asleep and I snuggled in tight with her and snapped this photo. Time stopped and whatever was heavy just disappeared. I felt such deep gratitude for her and the moment.)
Moving Through Overwhelm
None of this is rocket science…you know it already. But perhaps this is the message you needed to remind you today that you are allowed to feel overwhelmed. And…you have everything within you to shift away from it and into peace…into YOU.
Namaste, Beautiful…????
Katie Krimitsos
Creator of the Women’s Meditation Network
katie@womensmeditationnetwork.com
